And then I lost it....

So... for the last few days I have been noticeably absent from the internet....
The reason for this is very simple and somewhat ridiculous to be honest. I lost my computer. Allow me to explain.

I have ADHD combined type. I was born with part of my brain unprepared to function as it does in other people so I have spent my entire life in chaos. Some days I can almost fake it and live like the world around me. Those days I can talk myself into believing that I'm going to be finally able to be organized and not be the mom running around searching for socks for my kids at the last minute, or chasing dogs down the street because I forgot to secure the latch on the run after I took them out.

I have been called "lazy", "stupid","rude " and a myriad of other things for things I genuinely couldn't help and never meant to do. Being a disorganized mom is painful and humiliating, who would do that on purpose? Why would any teenager WANT to be berated in front of their peers and called names ?

All that said some things about having ADHD are not bad. More than 50% of adults with ADHD have an above average IQ. I lack impulse control so I have a lot of great stories. There are other things too but my mind has wandered a bit.

Back to my computer, I went to visit family in the city last weekend for Valentines day. I had a great time and even managed to sneak in some cuddles with my new baby cousin and my Grampa. The weekend was busy and hectic but wonderful. Time to come home came about and I loaded the car, strapped in my child and hit the road, I was thinking about the week ahead and my daughter was bombarding me with questions. After arriving home I opted not to unload the car because I was tired so I filled my arms with necessities and shuffled into the house behind my active seven year old. The week flew by and I distractedly checked the car, phoned my mother and searched my house , the computer nowhere to be found. This morning I mentioned to my fourteen year old that my computer was missing and I thought it might be time to report it to the police and my daughter said... MOM its right under the table its been there all week.

Welcome to my chaos dear reader.