My Saddle Horse Has Died....

This blog is one I have been sitting on since February and for good reason.

I sold a horse to buy hay this year. She was a gorgeous sorrel four year old. Oakley. She was born at my house and if not for the fact that I knew she was going to an amazing home with a loving family she would have lived her whole life with me. I was so happy thinking about the long and loving life Oakley was going to have. I loved Oakley. She went to her new home in November and I sat a long time and cried because I knew I was going to miss her horribly.

Oakley July 2015

In February I got a phone call that shattered my whole world. Oakley's new family had had her Coggins test done and she had come back positive. Coggins is the test used to detect Equine Infectious Anemia and a positive result is an immediate death sentence. I cried for Oakley, and I cried because I knew the infection had to come from my herd. I scheduled the tests for all of my beautiful babies and I waited. Let me tell you that waiting was simply awful. A person can't help but speculate where the disease came from or worse how many other horses have been put at risk. My tests came back and the results were even more catastrophic than I expected. 

The veterinarian from the Canadian Food Inspection Agency called me on the Saturday following the test and told me that eleven of the seventeen tested animals had come back positive. He couldn't tell me at the time which individuals were infected. I can honestly tell you that at that moment I wanted nothing as much as I wanted my own life to end. I was going to have to euthanize my babies, my friends, including bred mares, horses I had owned for over a decade, and who knew which ones I had to say goodbye to. I scheduled a meeting with the vet to discuss the results and I took anti anxiety medication and stayed in bed for the next two days. 

The vet showed me the paper with the results as I stared mutely and felt the whole world crash down. 

Norah and Flicka Christmas 2012

 Tiny but Mighty's pony, the one she got for Christmas when she was three, the one who would only listen to her, the one due to have her baby any minute was positive. I thought about my poor baby and trying to explain to her why her friend had to die. I thought about the plucky little miniature and the way she grieved when her baby was killed by a mountain lion in 2013. My eyes filled with tears and I read the next name. 

Eeyore

  Eeyore my brave miniature donkey, protector of all and general tough customer. He had been my baby since he was six months old or so.

 Star... My soul screamed... God no please not Star!! My best friend for fourteen years, a gift from my Dad, my partner, the horse that taught my babies to ride. Please let them be wrong about Star. 

Star 2014

Three names into the list and I couldn't breathe. My entire world literally destroyed at my feet, praying this was just a horrible dream and I would wake up I continued to read the list, each name shattering my heart like a stone throw through a window. Believe me dear reader I would love to type a loving biography of each beautiful soul for you here today but the grief in my heart is simply too great. When the meeting was done the fate of every horse I have ridden in the last fourteen years was sealed. Quarantine papers were signed and life looked pretty bleak from where I was standing. We had to wait for an official diagnosis before the horses could be destroyed so I made it my mission to spend as much time as I could riding them, loving them and imprinting them in my memory before I had to say goodbye. 

I faced the gruesome task of proving their worth to people who didn't know them.I also decided that they were not going to die for no reason.I learned everything I could about this disease and how to make sure I never have to do this again.  I looked up horses of similar quality to my beautiful babies and to be totally honest I didn't find a single one, because horses like mine are the kind you keep for a lifetime. Sweet gentle child friendly horses with months of professional training. You just cant walk out the door and find that. 

Finally two weeks ago I could prolong my time with them no longer. The CFIA vets came out and started putting my beautiful herd to rest. We did Star first because she was starting to show signs of actually being ill and I couldnt stand to see her hurt for one second longer than she needed to. One by one I held their heads as they left this world, ten beautiful souls in total and the entire fruit of my life's work. 

Lots of people have asked where the infection came from and we have narrowed down when they became infected and the possible source. I am very relieved that the chances that it left my herd are extremely slim. 

I have decided to make mandatory testing my mission. I never want anyone to lay in their bed afraid to close their eyes for fear of seeing the knees of their best friend buckle as she sank to the ground for the last time, or the seizure of a mare who was allergic to the medication, or Eeyore who fought until his last breath to live and looked up at me with eyes full of betrayal and hurt. My horses where the lucky ones. The disease was detected early and I never allowed them to suffer. Animals who are dying of this disease suffer beyond description. The only way to prevent this disease is routine testing and aggressive culling policies. Please test. Not just for the health of your own animals but to make sure we aren't continuing to spread this disease.