The Good, The Bad, The Math Test

Well Dear Reader, it's March. A full year has passed since the horses were diagnosed with EIA. A year full of loving people and hateful people so I thought I would do a quick recap for those new to the Land Of Chaos....

The Good:
I'm pretty sure we caught our infection before we spread it to anyone else, at least I hope so. We have received some really great messages and letters from people who want to express their support as well as getting some amazing deals on horses to help rebuild our program. I have tried to be fearless in reminding people that without testing this CAN happen to them because it DID happen to me. Mini Chaos is starting to feel like herself again and I have family members who I have become a lot closer to this year. I know I am not alone in wanting to see change in the horse world in not just my area but my whole country. One newly infected horse because of lack of information or mishandling of infected horses is too many in my books.

The Bad:
People can be cruel. We lost Tucker before Christmas due to old age and my inbox filled up with hate mail. People demanding he be retested ( Last year Tucker was coggins tested six times, that is more than most of the people messaging would bother to test one horse in a lifetime) People accusing me of mistreating him or failing him. Tucker was over 30 years old and in the vets words " at that age they really don't need a reason to die" . People hung up on me and kicked me out of horse groups all summer as I tried to collect horses for my program. My depression has hit a record low. And out of all of it the worst part is that I lost myself in the Chaos this year.

The Math Test:

I'm terrible at math. I also find no joy in it and for this reason I dropped out of highschool and have never graduated. Math is my Moriarty, My Lex Luther, My Road Runner. But in the course of losing myself this year I decided that the first step had to be something I could change, a battle I was guaranteed to win. So Dear reader, I am enrolled in a grade 10 math class. It is hard, and scary and frustrating and despite all of that, I scored a 73% on my first test! That is basically equal in my books to winning the Kentucky Derby or Finishing in the money at the CFR!

I appreciate you all Dear Reader for being hear and following the Land of Chaos and please know I am trying very hard to be a better host. There were days this year when I got up so I could write for you and you became my purpose for putting one foot in front of the other for just one more day. I'm thinking on a topoic to write for you , but you know how I get :) It's got to cook a bit more first ;)

Onward and Upward

I have a fairly high I.Q. and an aptitude for language and social sciences. I can talk to educated people or I can talk like the most uneducated redneck in the bunch. I'm a social chameleon of sorts in that I am comfortable with all different groups of people and I soak up knowledge like a sponge. I love to learn. In my library you will find everything from foal imprinting to a book outlining evidence that Hitler did not die when history says he did. My literary taste is broad and insatiable, I devour anything regarding psychology. 

My secret dear reader is that the "language" of math is beyond me. I have literally dropped out of school because of math at least three times. It is the only subject I lack to attain a highschool diploma. It is embarrassing to be perfectly honest.

Mini Chaos is having trouble facing school since Tucker has gone on to wait at the Rainbow Bridge and I went in to the local school to discuss the possibility of her redoing a couple classes online, and somehow dear reader I find myself enrolled in grade 10 math and looking at completing my diploma. How did this happen I ponder as I look at the link with dread.

 It's a different world than when I was young and I have to face the fact that a diploma isn't optional anymore, that no matter how intelligent or charismatic or experienced I am, no matter how hard I work, without that paper I'm always going to be struggling uphill. It also opens the door for better opportunities to spend the winter. Instead of waitressing maybe I can find a winter job that makes a difference to someone.    

My palms are sweating and I feel a little faint dear reader but Im about to click the link and wade into a world of BEDMAS and integers. Into the lurch.... 

Catching you Up :)

So I guess I've been a bit of a bad host the last couple months :) Just not a lot of good things happening in Chaos Country this year and I haven't wanted to post all the sad. So I'll give you the sad first Dear Reader and then the exciting stuff.

In October this year we had three straight weeks of freezing rain and the horses began to look a bit rough.
We had an icestorm that knocked the power out and that was scary, scarier still was the fact that I couldn't get to the horses for three days. We had noticed some wolf tracks around and some scuff marks on the horses and unfortunately by the time I got into camp on the Friday the wolves had claimed a victim , Nova had been killed and consumed very quickly. She was a very good horse, all summer she carried tiny humans and was shaping up to be a very good buddy to me. Losing her pushed me right back to square one in trying to heal from losing the horses this spring and honestly I have been kind of hiding ever since.

RIP Nova you are deeply loved and missed everyday. 

Of course everyone is familiar with our Tucker. He has taught countless kids about horses and gave Mini Chaos her wings. He is the very embodiment of a spunky little pony even though he is in his twilight years at over 30 years old. Tucker has been a fixture at our place for a very long time. After the freezing rain stopped and about 3 weeks ago I noticed Tucker wasn't quite himself. We put him on a supplement and bought him a heavy blanket and watched him carefully. Tucker started sleeping alot, so much that he started to get scuff marks on his legs, and in a Sunday night I decided he was going in because he just wasn't right. In the middle of the night I checked him and he just wasn't doing well. We lost Tucker an hour before his Dr. appointment and I have to tell you it has rattled our family to the core. He was laid to rest beside his lost "girls" and Grizzly, the colt he was sure was his baby. I have been both encouraged and disgusted by the reaction of people around us. Mini Chaos can't even look at a horse right now and I can't count noses without tearing up. Some people have been amazingly supportive and some people have been cruel. He was more than a horse Dear Reader. He was family. I recognize he was elderly and I should have known he'd leave us some day, it was just so dang fast and I guess that was a blessing for him. It's hard to say goodbye to a partner, a friend, a brother , a son, with no warning. Tucker is forever a part of the fabric of who my children will become and we will always miss him.

Tucker and Mini Chaos teaching a lesson

Tucker and Mini Chaos in the Parade in Pierceland

 |RIP Old Man and know that we will be looking for you at the Rainbow Bridge.

Now I promised you some good news.

You will remember that back in April when the horses were destroyed we had two weanling foals that we fought to keep and started out  bottling. Clarabelle, and Cocoa. I am over joyed to tell you dear reader that both foals are EIA negative and have been cleared by the CFIA :)

Clarabelle and her Momma, Flicka, on her birthday

That's how it goes dear reader, ups and downs, I'll try to be a better host and not make you wait so long.

Let it Snow.

Most people know I live in a place that has the potential to be fairly isolated. The closest city to me has around 5000 people. I have lived around here for close to nine years and I am fairly used to a coouple things I never had to get used to in southern alberta wheere I hail from. 

First of all after late October -15 c is a warm day. The average is around -20c. Second of all the power goes out. When the power goes out it usually hits all of the small communities within a two hour radius on the Saskatchewan side of the grid, so the closest power is generally in Alberta. 

Most of the time these power outages are a mild annoyance that last an hour or two but occasionally there is serious infrastructure damage and it is out for a long time. Power surges killing appliances is a fact of life around here. 

The first year I lived in the area Tiny But Mighty was still in the seed stage on my birthday and the power was out for ten hours, the big excitement that day happened when I tried to blow out a candle and caught my piano on fire. 

The last couple of days have been a bit interesting in our area. 

As I have mentioned previously we have had a ton of rain this year but it came late. Sunday morning it started raining, then it started snowing, and by supper time the snow was easily half a foot deep. The snow was heavy and wet and slushy and before too long the roads were impassable. This is fine, I mean into every life some rain must fall. I was supposed to go to work and I knew there was no way I was even going to get to the highway. We adjusted. We had a meal, played cards, kept warm and dry. Mama Chaos and Big Chill drove back to their house three blocks away in the dakota of doom and only had to be dug out a few times :) . 

Sunday night as we all slept the power went out. 

At first it was no big deal, it happens all the time, unfortunately our home has clean and convenient propane heat which dear reader needs power to work. TBM and I grabbed out ipads and stayed snuggled in the bedroom, which stayed about ten degrees warmer than the rest of the house probably due to the slumbering pack of "wolves" live there with us. I grumbled as I pulled the blankets around me about the weather and the fact that it is just way too early for this. I phoned my manager who told me not to worry about coming in since we really cant do business without power. 

The morning passed and I went into the kitchen to make lunch at which point I realised the house was actually cooling off pretty rapidly. I phoned Government Utility and they said the crews had been working most of the night and all morning but the damage was very extensive and it would still be awhile. I began to feel a bit concerned. 

My local friends started posting photos of damages on social media and I peered out my window at the towering trees in my yard and said a prayer that they wouldn't succumb to the storm and come crashing through the roof. I though briefly about an ice storm in Ontario some years ago where the power was out or days and the temperature plummeted and people died in their homes waiting, as we were, for the power to come back on.  

I thought about how messy wood heat is and looked at the skim of ice in my toilet bowl. I was cold dear reader and TBM was cold and bored and sick of hiding under the blankets playing on her ipad. 

At 2 pm the power flicked on for just long enough to give hope and then snatch it away, and I prayed thankful that it wasnt actually cold outside, only -1 or -2 c. The dogs begged to go out and Im sure they couldnt understand why they were staying in so late. I took tyhe dogs out and fed the animals and waited and I must tell you I was becoming genuinely concerned for those with elders and young children in their homes and for us too. If the temperature dropped significantly over night this could become a very tragic story.. 

At 4pm the power started flipping on and off... the lights flickered and several bulbs burned out as I dashed around the house turning them off and unplugging televisions and toasters. Finally around 4:30 the outage was over and I was able to reset the furnace and begin my day. I spent the rest of the afternoon looking at wood fireplaces. 

I am going to say right here and now how much I appreciate the people who got up Monday morning and fixed several kilometers of power grid to restore power before it got cold last night. I am grateful for the people in the call center answering questions and taking the brunt of peoples' frustrations. I am grateful for the repair staff who risk their lives tromping through the forrest to cut trees off of downed lines and put them back together. The communities around here are small but combined there were probably ten thousand people sitting in the dark, waiting. 

Today I am shoveling my car out and the world is back to normal but it sure made me think. Some people couldn't get gas, some people couldn't get groceries. I was reminded that I need to keep the shelves stocked and the car full because the amenities we take for granted are not guaranteed. 

On that note dear reader, I'm off to town to get groceries and fuel and to work :) I pray you all are safe and warm and that you know where the candles are. ;) 

And a side of fries please....

Last night was a normal Thursday night. I left work after my shift, drove home to pick up Tiny But Mighty for her piano lesson. After piano we got groceries, so at 7:15 we had not eaten and were still in town. I decided to go to the big chain chicken fast food place.

The line at the drive thru was a bit long but that is to be expected in a small community when the restaurant is cooking chicken. Cooking chicken takes time right? 

There was a white truck in front of me in the drive thru that kept reversing, then turning the truck off etc. I waited in line about fifteen minutes and honestly didn't think much about it, until I got to the window. When I got to the window I realized that the man who had been in the truck in front of me was inside the store. I was horrified to see him raging around the room and threatening the staff, even going so far as to follow one woman into the kitchen while screaming at her and slamming things. I looked up at the youth in the window and said "I'm phoning the police." The young man looked quite pale as he nodded and said "Please." 

I called 911 and as I was giving my information I told the operator " I will stay on the phone but they need someone now." TBM observed the whole thing quietly and upon hearing me through the window telling the police what was happening the man fled. 

Here is the point I wish to make dear reader. This man waited in line at a fast food restaurant drive thru that serves only chicken for fifteen minutes. To a reasonable person this would be an indication that they were cooking a fresh batch of chicken right? This person believed that because he was unhappy with how long he waited he had the right to not just complain but to terrorize the staff in this business. He believed it was ok to behave so violently and so aggressively that he scared my daughter outside of the building in my vehicle.....because he had to wait for his food to be properly and safely cooked. Now I am sure this is not an everyday occurrence and I myself have gone into a fast food place from the drive thru because I was unhappy with my order or the service, but those are people working in there. Someone's children, parents, siblings, and you made them feel unsafe and you threatened them .... over chicken. The minimum wage is under debate ini my province and our neighbors to the west and I see memes on facebook and the internet all the tiem making fun of service industry workers and saying they don't deserve more money. Let me be perfectly clear here. 

The minimum wage was set in order to guarantee fair treatment for workers and minimum wage earners are in jobs ( such as gas station attendant or food service) where they tend to suffer abuse, robbery and violence far more that your average office worker, professional, or oilfield worker. Ironically the people complaining about the minimum wage increase are the people who can afford to pay an extra fifty cents for a burger. 

What kind of world do we live in when we treat the people who serve us like trash, like non humans? Would this man treat his wife or mother this way because his meal wasn't ready upon demand? Those people got treated that way and terrorized and in compensation they received less than the cost of a meal. What kimd of world indeed. 

Rain Rain Go Away...

We all hear people say it every year "farmers need the rain though". This year the rain came late. The rain came so late dear reader and so much that many farmers still have crop in the field at this moment, nearly two months after normal harvest is done.

How does this effect things you may ask as you fill your shopping cart in a well lit city supermarket...
This year dispite there being lots of grass people like myself are concerned about where they will get hay, cattle guys worry about whether the hay they have will keep and whether it will be nutritional sufficient for their herds.

Grain farmers are watching the seeds they set out to harvest sprout and then get frost killed.

It is a poignant illustration of what too much of a good thing can do. The worst part is we have no control over the weather. Every fall I literally go without sleep waiting for the hay to come. So far it always has dear reader but a few years ago I read about horses abandoned on a trail because they ran out of supplies and couldn't (or wouldn't?)  get them out. They left them to die. I can't understand it to be honest.

Here's hoping those around me can get their crop into the bin before the season ending snow hits.

Clear the streets! :P

So yesterday Mini Chaos got her learners permit. To be completely honest dear reader I find it a small amount... completely terrifying. Not her driving by any means, she has been driving around the farm since she was nine years old.

The scary part is the fact that she is growing up. She is fifteen and pretty much master of her domain :) She is beautiful, confident, intelligent, sassy and almost totally outgrown her Momma. A drivers licence means so many things to a young person, freedom, responsibility, a future, but to me it just means my baby is going to leave me.

This is where I geet conflicted. On the one hand I am enormously proud. On the other Im sad to be left behind.

We make our kids the center of the world from the moment they are born and it is kind of scary to have to be a person again and find purpose again. Wish me luck dear reader and I will keep letting you know what I learn :)